I remember growing up and being told, “Never discuss politics or religion on a first date or in a group setting.” Often times, those topics are triggers for contention and debate. How awkward would it be to suddenly discover that your date vehemently disagrees with you about the upcoming election. Not only that, but his religious views are diametrically opposed to your own. And that’s all before the salad gets there. I heeded this advice and I think it served me well.
But what about the subject of adoption? Nothing seems to stop people in their tracks faster than when I politely explain that 1) No, I am not married and 2) Yes, my last name is really Hefley and I grew up in Texas. What?? How is that possible? At this point, sometimes I really just want to play around. Well, I was abducted my aliens. Or better yet, you didn’t know Hefley is a common Chinese family name? Geez. Where have you been? Better yet, who are YOU voting for?
All joking aside, I’m tired of explaining it. Maybe someone could send a memo to the world that read something like:
Dear human beings,
When you were younger, did you ever hear the advice about not discussing politics or religion or other sensitive matters with complete strangers? If not, please be advised that we all have unique stories, backgrounds, and family histories. Adoption is real. And private. And none of your business until the adoptee decides to share that information with you. Therefore, kindly keep your questions to yourself.
Is that out of line? I don’t think so. What do you think?